THE REASON SHE'S A SLUT.

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Sex. It's a topic that will prick up one's ears. It'll grab your attention, for one reason or another.If you read this blog, you'll know who Laura is. My friend, she's part of my tribe: the place she holds in my heart is huge. She's writing for Thought Catalog at the moment, with similar topics she covers on her blog. And this week, she wrote about being a slut.You can read the article here - where she tells her story in a condensed version. Of how a boy broke her heart and how she was the only one left to pick up the pieces. Because that's how it works. You're together and then? You're alone.And yeah, you have your friends and your family - but we all know that's not the same. Let's not pretend.Having our heart broken, it's not something we can ever be prepared for. And there is absolutely no right way of coming back from the dark road it leads you down. We all do it differently, we cope, the best we can and we make mistakes - but most of all? We learn.About who we're going to be and who we're not.Most of us aren't born loving ourselves inside and out, it's something we earn for ourselves. Self respect and self worth is built on us learning how to get there - and being brave enough to say: 'this is how I did it'. No matter the journey we took. No-one said it was easy and no-one said how to do it. This all takes courage.Being newly single, I'm finding it hard to find my feet. I'll wake up one day feeling on top of the world and the next I'll be crying myself to sleep. And it's for this exact reason, that people like Laura make times like these a little easier to bear.I mean, the thought of being my true self with another man, the way I was with him? It makes me shudder. And when Laura says:'She’s a slut because she needs to feel wanted. Desired. Sexual. She needs to remind herself that she can. That there are other men out there. But she doesn’t want you to love her. To call. To treat her with any semblance of respect. She doesn’t respect herself because how can she? What is she worth, when the one she gave it all to left so easily, and for somebody else?'I understand. I haven't been down that road. I haven't let myself fall, and I'm not talking about being in love. I've been stood on the edge of a cliff for months, second guessing myself. Am I attractive to other people? Am I worth their time? Let alone a space in their bed for the night. I manifest my insecurities in other ways, that I'll work out eventually, too.We slut shame, but what for?Everyone's story is different. And labeling a woman a slut for choosing to find herself through having sex that isn't about being in love feels so close minded to me.We have our journey's, we choose our paths and that's the beauty of it all.Sometimes it takes a while to realise that it's only us who can save ourselves from what we believe to be true.When you thought you had everything and it turned out to be something completely different - it crushes you, cripples your ability to love openly and freely. Why should you let someone in, show them the real you, when your only memory is pain from how tragically it ended. That takes time.Laura's piece has caused a heap of controversy - for obvious reasons. Some of the comments are so cruel. But I hope what most people take from it is that this is one journey, not everyone's. It's this path that's made Laura who she is right now - a woman with more self-worth, confidence and fire for life than I see in most people. She took her path, she got from it what she needed to heal and she learned from it.You're quick to call a woman a slut. Because you think you know.But really, you don't know much, until you know the story.