SWIPE RIGHT: HOW I MET JAMIE.

Valentine's Day. The one day of the year you're not entirely sure you can openly celebrate.

There's a distinct uncertainty within social media and the work-place. Is it okay to be over the moon that you've had flowers delivered to your desk? Is it okay to share said flowers on instagram with a gushy caption to boot?

The answer?

Do whatever the hell makes you happy.

Today, I'd like to share with you my story, from one Valentine's day to another, and what a difference a year can make. 

On February 14th 2015 I was quite sure my world was about to end.

I was single, getting over a pretty nasty break-up and being comforted by my sister with a trip to Wagamamas (which was great FYI). I came home that evening to the announcement on my Facebook timeline that my ex-partner had got engaged. Engaged on Valentine's Day - cheers. I was convinced I'd hate that day forever more. Not because I didn't want him to be happy, but because it made me so very aware that I wasn't.

It was that day I decided to go forth and live the life I'd dreamed of. And so I did. 

And today, on February 14th 2016, I'm quite sure my world is the best it's ever been. 

So let's talk about Jamie, shall we?

At a time where I wasn't taking the idea of dating all too seriously, my friend forced Tinder upon me. I wasn't enamoured with the concept - swiping left or right based on whether you thought someone's face was good enough just didn't appeal to me. But I was coerced in to setting it up. 'If only for the evening, Megs!' she said.

With a bio that read 'my hatred for cheese is very real', it was obvious I wasn't out to find my soul mate; but I begrudgingly matched with three fellas and decided swiftly afterwards if I was going to be the entertainment for my friend that evening, that I'd better go ahead and message all three. I was witty with my opening lines for each, hoping that setting the bar would enable me to quickly establish whether we'd be able to have a relatively painless conversation or whether that app needed deleting immediately. Two responses were tragic to say the least, but Jamie's, well, he was something else.

 Sat effortlessly on a giant plastic frog in his picture, his cheeky little smile caught my attention. Now, I have to say that I'm not usually attracted to guys riding giant animals, it's not on my tick-list of a gentlemen's criteria when dating, that's for sure - but Jamie stood out. Simply because he wasn't half naked, posing in the gym or telling me how much he loved sports or babies. He seemed, on first swipe, interesting. Or at least, less intimidating than many of the others. And when a guys opening message is:'Hello, is it brie you're looking for?'

Well, I think it's safe to say you've found a winner.

I certainly wasn't looking for a relationship and having only been on about three real first dates in my life, I wasn't particularly looking for one of those either. I was headed to Bali with Laura in just two weeks time and boys weren't really a priority over planning for that.

However, after just a few exchanged messages I found myself waiting for Jamie to text - the ease of it all felt incredibly refreshing. There didn't appear to be any games or messing around - it was all rather adult and fun. Learning pretty much from the off that we had all of the same interests, one of his favourite films was American History X and his favourite book The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night-Time, I struggled to comprehend the reality of the situation; but he made me laugh and amusingly, he also seemed convinced that I too, was a catfish (pah).

Before I knew it I was in the air to Indonesia and although I'd really enjoyed speaking with him - I wasn't sure he'd be interested in continuing anything with me being away in another country for a month.

I was mistaken.

Whilst sipping my smoothies poolside, I composed essay length messages in response to Jamie's short novels. I was surprised at how much we had to say to each other and how building a relationship with him felt as easygoing as the ones I've made online with other bloggers. 

I mean, surely guys were meant to be harder work than this?

Having spoken every day for a month I knew I wanted to see him when I got home, and so I asked if he might be free the day I got back. I know...nothing like a keen bean, but, I made a decision last year that if I wanted something I'd go for it. I believe in being honest with yourself and that honesty with others is crucial, so with that in mind I started how I'd mean to go on - whatever that meant for the current situation I wasn't sure.

(Luckily he didn't think I was totally mental) And so the day after I returned from Bali, I drove to his house. I say that casually - but in the hours leading up to it I could've quite easily soiled my knickers. The idea of being with a boy, alone, in his house - well, at that moment I think I would've rather eaten my soiled knickers.We sat on his lounge floor and ate McDonalds whilst binge watching all of the Despicable Me's and Beyonce and Jay-Z in Paris. I know it may not sound glamorous, but it was the best non-date, first date I've ever had. I think if when meeting someone for the first time you can just be in each others company, at ease with being yourself, well, that says more than any fancy cocktail can. The last thing I wanted to do was sit opposite him in a bar and fumble over our words.

 The rest is kind of history.

 I've had the most incredible year with him. Learning to love again with one of the best people I've ever met, is the best decision I made in 2015.

 He's all of the things I want from a relationship. My companion, someone who enriches my life and doesn't dictate it. It's odd because the feeling he gives me isn't one I can really portray well enough with just my words. As sickening as it sounds, every day with him is spent on cloud nine - because he just loves me, and it's the best thing in the world. Who knew that's all it took?I've never felt a happiness like it.

I feel like I've always had to fight to keep a mans attention before, fight to be loved, like they were a prize to be won, but not with him. It's amazing how you can not know what you need until it's staring you in the face. And that letting your guard down, letting someone love you without fear is both the hardest and the easiest thing in the world.

Now I know if I gush anymore I'll probably start physically bleeding love (cheers Leona), but the purpose of this post is to show you...

 ...That in the strangest of places, can lie the most beautiful opportunities.

Opportunities to test your comfort zone.

Giving you the opportunity to allow yourself to accept what you deserve. And to give it back without fear of being hurt.

Because you are enough, you're you, and that's more than enough.

Telling myself that and now actually believing it? Well it's one of the highest hurdles I've ever had to jump, but it's the best feeling now that I can clear it with ease.So with that being said, hell yes I'll eat my hat: I LOVE TINDER.

And oh boy do I love you, Jamie.